My X’th BirthDay Reflection: March 8th,
2012.
When
I woke up this morning, the day reminded me that there was a day when I was
actually born on this earth and it also more alarmingly reminded me I will one
day depart from this world! Thinking what would be the best thing I can do on
this day, the breezing wind inside questioned me why did I chose this world for
my home? Why & how did I come to exist! Who have helped me grow this big?
Who have taught me the language I speak? Endless questions captured my soul.
The
breezing wind impressed me, “No one ever say, ‘let me become a human and get
start living inside my mother's womb.’ Of course, none can say that. ‘All men
are created equal,’ that everyone, regardless of physical structure, race,
gender, social or legal status, born with meaningful purpose of the Creator.
Therefore, anyone who failed to live up-to that purpose is a wasted life. In
God's sight, the price and value of every human being is equal that He, after
the fall of man, bought everyone with the blood of His one and only begotten
Son! Anyone is bought with nothing more, nothing less, but by the blood of His
only begotten Son. In other word, "all men are created with equal
price/value". In God's sight, the price of the world's richest man and the
price of the world's poorest man are exactly the same! You are nothing less,
nothing more than anyone in the world! Just live up to the purpose of your Creator!”
My soul warmly refreshed by the whispering words. That no one on earth can
hinder my Creator, who is working inside me to make me desire His will and do
the good thing He had purpose in creating me as who I am today.
I turned on my little IPhone4s, before stepping down from my bed and opened my
daily bible verse which says “But my God shall supply all your need according
to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus,” Philippians 4:19." Yea, “the Lord
is my Shepherd and I do not want” anything more than whatever He provides me.
Having refreshed my spirit that my life is built on the unshakable foundation,
the Rock of Christ, my mind tuned around to check my connection to others thru
social media and discovered 79 of my Facebook fans wished me a "Happy
Birthday" most of whom I never interact with them f2f. I prayed to God for
my life, family, friends and connections, and all things in life that the Lord
connects me from heaven and reached me out where I was in a dungeon. I now
learn how to rest my soul on Him, the unshakable Rock in whom my life is
grounded.
Going back to where I started landing on this earth, there have been a lot of
fun, scary, lovely, unforgettable memoirs. I was born in a society comparable
to a kind of first century civilization where and when kids played with mud and
bugs every day! Having learned from schools for more than a quarter century,
God has revealed his deep truth about my being, existence and my world! And now
God has been leading me among the people of 21st century generation. Change is
constant: people, time, space, place, system, climate, friends and foes, likes
and love, etc., that change never takes a break! From the world's most remotest
village to a city of the global village, from first century civilization to
21st century civilization, from hunger to fat reduce program, from being most
welcomed baby to disowned and hatred by friends and loved ones, from decaying
human mind to divinely purged mind, from the way to Tarsus to the way to
Damascus, all in experiences and all circumstances, God has been so gracious to
me to make me who I am today! From the way of hell to the way of heaven, He
leaded me with His powerful hands.
There were 2 times, I asked God to take me home: in
both times, I disagree with God, I recalled. Against my parents’ will (and
probably against God’s will and plan for me as well), in 1988, I made a decision
to fight the military dictatorship with arms or any means, saying “I cannot
co-exist peacefully with this dictators.” Right after I had made that decision,
my body was knocked down on bed; a young man in his late teenage, with serious
ambition to give away his own life for his people, was laying down on bed for 5
months. I was tied up against my will. I begged my God to take me home, if He disagrees
with me. God healed me after 5 months and but I still had to run away to catch
up the lapse time. Not long after I run away and followed my own plan, my path hid
a dead end road. God placed me to study His words. I was furious. I argued with
God, “God, I have given my life for my people, I do not have 2 lives one for my
people and another for you. I do not want to do anything except working for my
people.” God did not change His plan for me. At that time, I was admitted to
Bible College. My mind was all the times captured and tortured by the images of
the sufferings of my people. I begged God to take me home, if He doesn’t allow
me to what I had made decision.
During my late teenage life, my mind was filled with hatred toward the ruling
class of my country for their mismanagement and failed leadership that put my
country down to the bottom of world civilization. I had committed my life to
change the world but God used history to change my life. Hatred to love,
consonant to resonance that action motivated by hatred is always worse than the
thing one hates. Therefore, God change the force of my action from hatred to
His love. Now, I just live every day to carry on His message of love, how much
He loves us and His powerful working in me and my fellow human being.
In life, I compare my life like a marathon runner;
the one who running since the first century and outrunning many of the 21st
century people! When I run, wherever and whenever I run, I run with my life at
the stake! Whenever I fall or even before I fall, God always lifted me up!
I love the way God empty me, making empty space for Himself! Now, the world no
longer has space inside me! He alone reigns in me! He now has my whole being;
the reason I live, breath, think, sing, speak and do is because of Him and for
Him alone! Thank you Lord!
He assigned my daily responsibility and life pattern in 5 areas.
1) To Him, the Creator; living for his glory,
purpose, and pleasure in all things and all areas of life.
2) To self: The only one, I have responsibility to
control, in thoughts, words, deeds, and action, living by the kingdom
principles of God the Creator.
3) To family and neighbor: owe nothing to anyone but love, loving others as
self, representing Christ the Son of God to everyone one connects, interacts
and communicates, in thoughts, words, deeds or in any ways of expression,
direct or indirect.
4) To society and government: by abiding the standing laws of the government
and society, be the promoter of love and virtues, taking responsibility and
living a responsive life.
5) To nature: Be a good steward, care taker of nature. And I am to enjoy Him
and life forever.
Nothing can hinders the work of the Holy Spirit in and thru me, except my own
flesh! Whenever my flesh is alive, I always find reason to defense and excuse
myself and blame someone or circumstance all the time for not living according
to God's will. I am my own biggest enemy! Lord, humble me!
My life has gone through a dark period of time, like others: Abraham, when he had to leave his father's
land, and when he was to kill his own son; Joseph, when he was thrown down to
cistern and was jailed unjustly; for David, when he had to run for his life for
fear of the one he lovely served King Saul and when his own son tried to kill
him; for Daniel and friends in lions’ den and in a midst of fire; for Paul,
when he was beaten and jailed without reason. I have been in far opposite
corner of my expectation and such movements were so precious to pill of the
flesh that covers my ears and eyes from seeing and hearing God’s image and
voice.
I had been a
slave of my own opinion for many years, until I discovered there is no true
freedom but in Jesus! America is politically free and democratic, but 2
millions in jail, millions of unborn babies being killed every year, minions
are in mental disorder, depression and under anxiety attacks, trust in people
and government is lost, fear fills the airports and govt. offices, public
spaces, unfair judgment, unfair business
transactions, millions of homeless, millions of unsatisfied angry citizens,
millions never know who their true father is, millions being raised by single
parents, unequal distribution of wealth (one year labor of blue color
worker's pay= 15 minute pay of big company CEO), corruption, deception, distrust,
hopelessness, endless struggle for survival! But in Jesus the truth set me
free: freedom from want ( "I shall not want"), freedom from fear
("I fear no evil"), freedom from condemnation ("There is no
condemnation in Christ"), and "all things being added to my
account", what a great and awesome God I have in Jesus! True freedom of
men only in Jesus Christ! Let freedom reign! The Lord has prepared me and I now
am wholly prepared to use my freedom to help others free. As long as I
stay loving and being controlled by the Holy Spirit, whatever the world around,
I enjoy the maximum freedom!
Freed soul, grounded on the Rock of Christ, is
unstoppable and powerful to enjoy the most of life as designed by the ultimate
Designer and Originator of life, regardless of the surrounding world, time and
space! I have discovered it and firmly established my life for the rest of my
journey!
One aspect of the freedom & joy of serving God is there is no competition:
no competition of performance, size, skills, expertise, pays, appreciation
& recognition, material or none material, power or honor, no
competition at all! Free to serve, to love and enjoy Him! Everyone, as much as
given, serve Him with maximum happiness and joy! The reward is already been
given before we serve Him that is His amazing grace and never ending love with
the crown of eternal life!
Three things I encounter every day in this world: i) things that happen to me,
ii) things I create or cause, and iii) the way I (re)act upon two of the above.
Out of those three things, the two are in my hands. So, it's my choice that
matters to the course of life! For God’s love stays forever.
Embracing wholeheartedly what God has the best for me, He is totally in control
of my choices now! I have learned that rejecting God’s call caused Jonah being
swallowed by a big fish in the sea. It usually is too far to come back and too
painful to be healed. I have to agree and totally surrender my whole being
under His provision and guidance. Allowing God operates in me guarantees the
best in all things that related to me and things to come. He is rebuilding me now and stretching out His
hand through me to the global brethren!
May God bless you all!
Hre Mang